Saints and Sinners
by DanieXJ
Summary: #20 in my Holidays Series. Takes place the morning after 'Trick or Treat' What's done is done, now Kerry, Kim, Nikki and Helen have to fix what has been broken.


**Title**: Saints and Sinners

**Series**: #20 in Holidays Series

**Spoilers**: 3.16 of Bad Girls

**Disclaimer**: Don't own most of the characters, ER or otherwise.

**A/N**: Takes place the morning after "Trick or Treat?"

* * *

Kim opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling of her childhood room. There was still the grimy handprint from when she had finally managed to jump high enough on her bed to reach the ceiling. Next to the hand print was the head indentation from when she jumped too high. She'd had to go to the ER for that. She couldn't remember if it had been County or not. Her mother had freaked out a bit when Kim had walked into the kitchen as calm as possible with blood running down into her eyes.

Memories were coming faster. She'd remembered most of her childhood, college, med school, even some of her time at County. She had remembered Maggie Wyczenski, Bipolar Maggie, Abby's mother, but no Kerry.

She closed her eyes again, she was sick of the memories, she wanted to remember Kerry, she did remember enough, feel enough that she wanted to take the pained look that came into Kerry's eyes away. That was something she supposed.

Her left arm in its cast still throbbed and itched now as well, and she felt like she could just stay in bed all day. Instead she rolled over and retrieved her cell phone. She flipped it open and scrolled down the few numbers that she had used the most and hit the call button.

* * *

Kerry stared out her front window. Watching the cars go by. She needed to get started getting ready for work sooner rather than later, this just had to be the weekend that she pulled a Saturday shift, but she just couldn't make herself move. "Damnit..."

"We're a coupla tossers."

Kerry closed her eyes. "Why? Screwing up the two best things that ever happened to us for what?"

"A night of shaggin'."

They both fell silent. It was Kerry who finally broke the silence, "I'm sorry Nikki, I..." She shook her head, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

Nikki put an arm around Kerry, "Darling, it takes two to tango."

This shut Kerry up for quite a while. Both women were in their own worlds. Kerry trying to figure out what the previous night had meant to her big picture. Nikki trying to figure out what the previous night would mean to she, Helen and their big picture.

"I thought that her nearly dying was the worst thing that could happen."

Nikki took a step back from the window and collected her jacket. "There'r much worse fates than death Ker-bear..." She put on her jacket, moving her shoulders so the leather settled into place. "Now me, I bloody screwed seven years in one night."

Kerry didn't turn, but spoke, "It was my fault, I'm a big girl Nikki."

Nikki put a hand on one of Kerry's shoulders and squeezed, "Darlin', you're quite the catch, but not that good then." This coaxed a small chuckle from Kerry. "And Kerry." Kerry finally turned and met Nikki's brown eyes. The bar owner was so different than Kim. "Last night had nothing to do with you or me..."

* * *

Kim picked up the dark colored bear. It had a football in its hands, and was wearing a Bears shirt. Truthfully she hadn't thought that it had been Kerry sending the things. She had the feeling that it wasn't Kerry's thing, that the red head wasn't the greatest at being the courting type.

Kim had thought that maybe someone at work was screwing with her, or perhaps Christy was trying to get at her, until the Bears bear. She looked down at her arms. One was in a cast, the other had a bandage where she had gotten cut. She closed her eyes, she could still feel Kerry's fingers on her skin. She held onto that, tried to... expand it.

The bear went flying across the room. Her father caught it before it hit the front of the China cabinet. He raised an eyebrow. "You okay Kimmy?"

"Why would I be okay Dad."

Charles tossed the bear back at Kim. "Second question, what can I do?"

Kim shook her head and stared down at the bear, "Nothing."

"You're trying too hard kiddo. You can't force fate to reunite you and Kerry, just let it happen."

"And if it doesn't..."

Charles tilted his head to one side, "Why should you care? You don't remember her..."

Kim blinked. "I..." She shook her head.

Charles took a hold of one of Kim's arms, "C'mon, we'll get some breakfast before you go into work. You can tell me all the embarrassing things that I've done to you in your life..."

This coaxed a small laugh from Kim.

* * *

Dominic put a hand on Helen's back as he approached , "She was in jail for three years Helen. She can take care of herself..." He touched near his eye with his fingertips, "Case in point."

Helen winced, "I don't know what got into her..." She shook her head and turned to Dominic. "We didn't get ta talk last night, you're gay then?"

Dominic smiled, "And recently single so if you know..." Helen gave Dominic's shoulder a push. "I didn't mean to bollix up your relationship."

"Ya didn't, I did McCallister..."

Dominic frowned as Nikki entered. Helen moved toward Nikki, but the dark haired woman stopped Helen with a hand on each of her shoulders. She didn't look anywhere near Helen's eyes, just took a step back and stared down at the ground.

Dominic spoke softly, "I'm going to get some... air, or breakfast..."

He disappeared.

Helen took Nikki's chin in her hand and made it so that Nikki had to meet her eyes. Nearly as fast the former Governor dropped her hand to her side and took a reflexive step back. "What's her name?"

Nikki ran a hand through her hair, "I don't know..."

"Nikki..."

Nikki threw her hands to her sides and stared at Helen, "Does it matter, does it really bloody matter who I... with whom I screwed up the one... one good th..."

Helen took a step forward, angry, "How many others?"

Nikki shook her head quickly, "None lo..."

Helen grabbed Nikki's arm before the taller woman could take a step back, "Do you ever think Nikki, just... think. He's Gay for gods sake. I never felt anything for him, anything, but... who am I kidding. It is always about you..." Helen shook her head, "I thought that you'd..."

"...grown up? Miscalculated there..."

They both fell silent, Helen's arm dropped from Nikki's arm after a bit, but neither moved from the bar room. It was Helen who finally spoke, "Are you Isabel, am I Osmond?"

"What?"

"Was I there when you got your freedom, and... and... you didn't know what to do with it, you..."

Nikki closed the distance between the two women and put her hands on Helen's face. "Never, I ne..."

Helen pushed Nikki back and shook her head. "Just... just go, please go Nik."

* * *

"Oh, My God..."

Charles glanced around, "What? Tom Selleck? Jodie Foster?"

Kim studied her father for a moment, "What do those two have in common?"

Charles shrugged, "First two names that came to mind. Now, what made you take the lord's name in vain daughter dearest?"

The smile came to Kim's eyes first, and then it crept onto the rest of her face. She didn't have to say anything then. It was Charles who spoke, "So, what's your plan now Kimberly?"

"Plan, why on earth would I... have a plan?"

Charles chuckled, "Because you're my offspring, and... did I ever tell you about how I managed to make it up to Rose when I... kinda forgot her birthday?"

* * *

Fin ~ May 2nd, 2008


End file.
